Dear Frannie,

I am the best man in a friend’s wedding with an Indian, all vegan, non-alcoholic reception. I detest curry dishes in any form and cannot function without a constant source of alcohol seeing as I suffer from a social anxiety disorder. There is a restaurant/bar right next door to the reception, but my friend is a recovering alcoholic and the smell of alcohol on anyone’s breath causes her to convulse violently. She is also a Buddhist and believes wholeheartedly in the effects of Karma. Will I be doomed for all eternity if I take an escape next door to kick back a few?

Signed,
Lost in Los Angeles

Dear Lost,
An Indian, Vegan, Buddhist, dry wedding? I guarantee they’ll be passing around joints the size of Gandhi’s right leg. By the time the Vegan of Honor toasts the happy couple, you’ll be eating curry out of the serving bowls with no hands, Karma intact.

Wish I were there (really), Frannie