Dear Frannie,

My boss is a huge executive who makes hundreds of thousands a year. He doesn’t seem to realize that the regular working stiff may not have a credit card to order tickets online. How do I open his eyes to the fact that not everyone leads such a charmed life?

Thanks, Ticketgirl

Dear Ticketgirl,

I have learned after many years of dealing with rich, hairy knuckled, white, bald, gout battling male bosses that two little words are the key to unlimited use of his Platinum Visa: lap dance.

Always, Frannie

Dear Frannie,

Sincerely, Abigail G.

Dear Abigail,

Thank you very much. Your comment was not only nice, but inspiring. I just put a tutu on went and sat on my husband’s shoulder while he was at his computer, but he did not find me funny or fairy-like at all.

With Gratitude, Frannie

Dear Frannie,

Do you ever stare at Simon Cowell and imagine what it would be like to make out with him for few seconds?

Angela R.

Dear Angela,

Yes, but I stare at our garbage man and wonder what it what be like to make out with him, too, so I’m not really picky. I think if you’re really going to fantasize about making out with an American Idol judge, you should pick Randy. I bet you $20 he’s a better kisser and his breath is fresher.

Sincerely, Frannie