Dear Frannie,

Can you please take down that photo of Mickey Rourke? He is so vile, I cannot bring myself to look at your brilliant site when his picture is there.

Thank you, An Adoring Fan

Dear Adoring,

I’m in complete agreement with you and although I’d rather french Kim Jong-il, I can’t take Mickey’s photo down until Sunday. Look on the bright side, the image isn’t scratch and sniff.

Best, Frannie

Dear Frannie,

I have found myself in an odd predicament, and although I could not type out my saga unless I had a book’s amount of space, I’ve been put the in the position to choose to marry for love or for money.

What would you do?

Rye, NY

Dear Rye,

Research shows that money lasts 26.4 years longer than love.

Sincerely, Frannie

Dear Frannie,

I’m going on a trip and would like to bring my vibrator with me. Problem is, I’m not checking any bags, as they now charge a fee, and I’m afraid to bring it in my carry on through security. Any hints?

Can’t Leave Home Without It
Quebec City

Dear Can’t,

When you’re going through security pretend you’re talking to a friend on it. When they tell you to walk through the scanner say goodbye and throw it in the plastic bin with your camera and keys. Make sure it’s hung up, though.

Take care, Frannie